One can say this much for former Liverpool and Bolton striker El-Hadji Diouf, he’s tremendous value.
Diouf, who to this day remains the only Liverpool number 9 in the history of the club to go a whole season without scoring a goal, has nothing but contempt for former Anfield teammates Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher – and is never shy in telling the world how little regard he holds them in.
Speaking to French publication So Foot this week in the biggest cry for attention this side of Kanye West, Diouf reignited the war of words in spectacular fashion:
On well-documented BFF Carragher:
“The difference between Jamie [Carragher] and me is that I am a world-class player and he is a s**t,” said Diouf. “The type of s**t that writes a book and mentions me all the time. Me, in my book, he does not warrant one phrase: he’s a f***ing loser.”
On Gerrard, when it was put to him that the former Liverpool captain didn’t think much of him as a player:
“I carried the national team for many years, 14 million fans on my shoulders. When we won, it was thanks to me, when we lost, it was my fault. What I represented for Senegal, Gerrard never managed 100th of that for England. He has never done anything in the World Cup or the Euros.”
“When I arrived at Liverpool, seeing as I just did what I wanted, he thought that I did not respect the club. But he downright killed his team by slipping against Chelsea. What goes around, comes around.”
Diouf, once the theme of general hostility towards his former teammates had been established, also recounted a spiky altercation with ex-Sunderland colleague Anton Ferdinand.
Shockingly, the pair didn’t get on, nor does he look back on his time in the north-east with great fondness:
“Inevitably, it was difficult in terms of atmosphere, I spent six sh**ty months there [at Sunderland]. We were not a team. There were little wa***rs in the group who thought they were the best but they were crap. Anton, he was the number one wa***r.
Recalling the fracas in question, which took place in a Manchester nightclub in 2012:
“I ignored him [Ferdinand]; that must have bothered him, so he came over to test me.
“I’m a man, I can defend myself. If there is a crazy guy who wants to take me on, I’ll show him that I’m crazier than him.
“The first of his friends who came too close to me, he ended up running away.
“Since I was drinking champagne, I broke my glass and I attacked them… I came out unscathed, and since then, the club now uses plastic glasses.”
How Diouf managed to come out of his own story looking quite that bad is a mystery – though it does lead to the terrifying question of how bad the true story must be.