Ladies and gentlemen, we are through the looking glass. Completely and utterly smashed through it. The panes of glass lie dismantled at the feet of Jim White and his merry men in frenzy lane.
Those of you who thought peak Transfer Deadline day would be the breaking news that bids for Loic Remy and Saido Berahino had not been accepted and neither would be leaving their club, i.e. breaking news that nothing had happened, were wrong. As wrong as Swansea’s away kit.
The big story of Transfer Deadline Day was, unbelievably and shockingly, actually a big story. There was a slight drawback in that it wasn’t actually a transfer at all but that detail was no match for the Sky Sports News team. It was washed away in a sea of a red ticker that seemed to never-endingly move and break stories while simultaneously remaining stationary – endlessly telling us the same thing.
Pep had gone to City. The oracle had told us it would be so. But even in the face of the predictability of Pep’s next club, rival fans had hoped beyond hope that perhaps he would consider their team as a possible designation.
As only a football fan could be, they were deluded into thinking their club was the ideal project that would appeal to Guardiola. Community’s as far away as Everton had welcome parties on stand-by in the slightest chance they might upgrade and play attractive, attacking football, but also actually win games. What a novel concept that would be.
These and many more fans across England were left disappointed. And hell hath no fury like a football fan scorned.
Least of all Man United fans, who took to social media in their droves to vent. Manchester United’s official twitter page tweeted a good luck message to Nick Powell, who had moved to Hull City on loan. Instead of the usual “LVG out” replies or “sign Lewandowski”, pictures and calls for one man flooded the MUFC forum.
“Announce Jose!” they cried. As a neutral, it is an extremely attractive choice.
Manchester United have a duty to football, a chance to make up for their bolt of uninspiring, bland play that infests an otherwise delightfully entertaining season. Make a gesture to the football gods. Rekindle the greatest managerial rivalry in the game. Two utter antithesis’s in one city. The only possible way next season can entertain as much as this.
Yet these cries are being professed from United fans. For months we have been forced to endure chants of “attack, attack, attack” and mind bottling lectures on the ‘Manchester United way’. The connoisseurs of football crave change to Van Gaal’s boring ways. So they elect for Mourinho.
Mourinho, the master of the one nil. The man who drove these fans to the brink of self-combustion when he sprinted the touchline at Old Trafford after a Benni McCarthy finish from a set-piece sent the red devils out of the Champions League. A defensive guru who represents everything the club seems to pride itself on not being. That is the supposed solution to Man United’s current woes.
Appointing Mourinho should be done as a duty to football, but it won’t be for ‘Manchester United football’.